Hey everybody, I was talking to a parent the other day, and the parent reported that there is no consequence they can give the child that makes a difference in the child's behavior. This isn't the first parent that stated this. In fact, I find that many parents report the same thing. There are many who state that the child isn't responsive to consequences.

One time, I observed a parent. I arrived at about six  pm, after being there for a half an hour, the parent reminded the child that the child was on consequence and should be in their room. The child went to their room for a minute, and returned again. This time they had to use the bathroom,  they came out of the bathroom, asked a question about the show that was on, and cautiously, sat down, and looked at television. The parent didn't seem to notice. The child watched television for another forty five minutes. When the paent realized that the child was sitting there watching television. The parent again informed him that he was supposed to be in his room.

The child replied, "oh, I was going to the bathroom." He went to the bathroom, came out, the parent instructed the child to take care of the pets. The child went to take care of the pets, resurfaced again at around nine pm. When the parent caught the child in a room watching TV. At which point much hollering and fussing was done. The child reported, "Oh, I was on my way to my room." The child loooked as if he was going towards his room, but I think he had to use the bathroom.

Of course, consequences are ineffective. The children aen't really getting any consequences. It seems like a small thing, but when a consequence is issued it''s imperative to follow through. If children are alllowed to dismiss punishments, they will become more aggressive in avoiding punishments. Their misbehavior will become more brazen and bold and they will become more insubordinate.

Many parents are inconsisent because they feel that punishments make them stand guard, and they feel like a warden. Parents feel that they don't want to be too hard, and that the child deserves, treats, priveleges, or whatever. They feel guilty and aggravated. Many parents don't understand that disciplining is simply another way of showing children that they are loved.

It's hard, but remember when you issue a punishment, make it one that you can live with.