Wednesday, February 15, 2012
When is tough love too tough?
Happy post Valentine's day!!!!
I'm just wondering can we be too tough on our teens? I know that many of you are saying "NOOOO" but really.
I am seeing more and more disturbing parenting interactions between teens and parents. I was recentlyforwarded a video in which the father was angry because a teen was expressing herself on the Internet and saying that she had too many chores to do. She was blaming her parents. In response to her rant the father took a gun and shot the computer. (www.litefm.com) I consider this to be overkill.
Dad was appalled that his daughter was so ungrateful. If Dad would have taken time to talk to other parents he would know that this is very normal behavior. Not necessarily good behavior, but to some extent normal. Teenagers are selfish, and self-focused. Every parent in America is attempting to get their teens to happily and joyfully do their chores, homework, heck to take a bath.
It bothers me that he used a gun to attempt to teach her a lesson. Will she with her shortsightedness attempt to use the gun to teach him a lesson? How far will this madness go? Read on another teen chose to get her way using a gun.
If that was overkill, consider this scenario.
A father didn't approve of his eighteen year old daughter's boyfriend. The daughter plotted with her boyfriend against the dad. Did they elope? Did they get an apartment together? NO!! The daughter told her boyfriend when her father would leave the house. Her boyfriend waited for her father to leave the house and then he shot and killed the father.
What was their goal? Did they think they would spend more time with each other? I don't think so.
Both cases is concerning, because families are more and more turning to violent means to communicate their frustrations. I know these are extreme cases, but how far are we to go with making our teens better people.
Just a few ideas to avoid escalating communication:
1. Stay calm.
2. Keep your voice lowered
3. Stay focused on the basic issue.
4. If you are getting too angry, walk away.
5. Use humor whenever possible.
What do you think?
I'm just wondering can we be too tough on our teens? I know that many of you are saying "NOOOO" but really.
I am seeing more and more disturbing parenting interactions between teens and parents. I was recentlyforwarded a video in which the father was angry because a teen was expressing herself on the Internet and saying that she had too many chores to do. She was blaming her parents. In response to her rant the father took a gun and shot the computer. (www.litefm.com) I consider this to be overkill.
Dad was appalled that his daughter was so ungrateful. If Dad would have taken time to talk to other parents he would know that this is very normal behavior. Not necessarily good behavior, but to some extent normal. Teenagers are selfish, and self-focused. Every parent in America is attempting to get their teens to happily and joyfully do their chores, homework, heck to take a bath.
It bothers me that he used a gun to attempt to teach her a lesson. Will she with her shortsightedness attempt to use the gun to teach him a lesson? How far will this madness go? Read on another teen chose to get her way using a gun.
If that was overkill, consider this scenario.
A father didn't approve of his eighteen year old daughter's boyfriend. The daughter plotted with her boyfriend against the dad. Did they elope? Did they get an apartment together? NO!! The daughter told her boyfriend when her father would leave the house. Her boyfriend waited for her father to leave the house and then he shot and killed the father.
What was their goal? Did they think they would spend more time with each other? I don't think so.
Both cases is concerning, because families are more and more turning to violent means to communicate their frustrations. I know these are extreme cases, but how far are we to go with making our teens better people.
Just a few ideas to avoid escalating communication:
1. Stay calm.
2. Keep your voice lowered
3. Stay focused on the basic issue.
4. If you are getting too angry, walk away.
5. Use humor whenever possible.
What do you think?
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