Hey everybody,

We have no idea how many times disgruntled students threaten to shoot up schools, and kill others and then kill themselves. Schools are doing  a much better job at hearing these threats and intervening quickly, but there are many threats that don't come to the attention of school administrators. Yet after someone dies there is always a witness that comes forward, and relate that the person had said that they were going to hurt themselves.

I always wonder, why didn't the witness tell someone earlier?

I know I don't have to say this, but please talk to your children and tell them to let somebody know if they have friends that are threatening to hurt, maim, or kill themselves or somebody else. Listen, listen, listen to your teens.

If your teen broods over what they see as maltreatment, from the world. You may think that jumping in and supporting them, when they are wrong, will help, but actually it only makes the situation worse. The more they talk about the situation, often they become more irrational about the situation. They may conclude that their maltreatment is so severe that it warrants hurting others. They may hurt themselves to avoid punishment.

 I am amazed at how jealous young people can be. Jealousy is at the root of a lot of bullying. The bully may decide to hurt the person he is bullying, but just as often the victim of bullying may strike back. Due to feelings of  isolation, sadness, and fear bullied children may not see anyway out accept to destroy themselves and/or anyone whom they perceive is involved.

If a teen loses their girlfriend/boyfriend/best friend or if teens are feeling left out and excluded at school, and at home, this could lead to an all or nothing attitude towards solving their problem. The teen may feel the only way out of this is if they kill themselves and/or others.

There's many things that can be done to help:

1. If there has been a threat then get help for your family. I know we are aware of the teen's need for help, but get help for yourself. Find out if there is something you can do to help your teen.

2. Encourage socialization. Get your teen out and about with you and the extended family. Encourage healthy relationships with extended family members.

3. Speak hopefully. This is a time to speak hopefully in the presence of your teenager. Minimize problems, don't maximize problems. Pray with and for your teen.

4. Slow down. Keep a more regulated schedule.

5. Be honest and point out good things happening around them, to them, and for them. It's easy to focus on problems. Encourage teens to find something good in their lives.

This is a different age. Stress is affecting everyone, even small children. Encourage an environment of open communication and friendliness n your home. Encourage your children to see you as a person they can trust. Teach them to be open, and most importantly, if you see a problem, please encourage them to talk to you.