Thursday, August 23, 2012
It's Our LIfe Too
Hello Everybody, I didn't realize how long it has been since I last blogged. Sorry about that.
I have been thinking about how fast time passes. Soon you will not hear the happy pitter patter of little feet. The sound will be more like stomps from tantrums, and then, hard steps from a men sized twelve shoe, on a teenager. You will wonder, where did the time fly, and why didn't I notice where the time has gone. Then before you realize it your children will be long gone.
Remember, it's your life too. Don't make their life your life. Make sure you have something of your own in your life. I Believe that children's talents are important, and it is the parent's responsibility to encourage the develpment of their talents. However when their success is more important to you than it is to them, you will have a problem.
When their success is more important to you than it is to them, you will have problems. Your teen will rebel. They won't practice. They will use their personal academic, musical, athletic, abilities as a bargaining chip. You will hear things like, I will practice, (whatever), if you give me this or that. Or thay may threaten to not participate. in the activity. You will find yourself in more power struggles, angry discussions, and fights over their success than you can beleive.
Back off. When their success is more importantt to you than it is to them, it will increase your workload, and negatively effect your relationship with them.
Relax, and step back. Get busy and find something interesting for yourself. They will at first, try to reengage you with negative behavior. They may come around and use their tallents, however they may not. The question is, do you want to drag them (through life) to the gates of success, and they resist every step of the way. The last step that only they can make you stand and watch as they turn and walk away? It seems to me, that if young people are successful, they believe thay did it all by themselves, and if they fail you will get the blame.
You have one life. You can fill it with angry words over their talents, or you can fill it with joy and celebration. You can mourn that your child isn't an olympic gold medalist, or you can enjoy what they acheive.
It's your life too. You only get one life. ENJOY it.
I have been thinking about how fast time passes. Soon you will not hear the happy pitter patter of little feet. The sound will be more like stomps from tantrums, and then, hard steps from a men sized twelve shoe, on a teenager. You will wonder, where did the time fly, and why didn't I notice where the time has gone. Then before you realize it your children will be long gone.
Remember, it's your life too. Don't make their life your life. Make sure you have something of your own in your life. I Believe that children's talents are important, and it is the parent's responsibility to encourage the develpment of their talents. However when their success is more important to you than it is to them, you will have a problem.
When their success is more important to you than it is to them, you will have problems. Your teen will rebel. They won't practice. They will use their personal academic, musical, athletic, abilities as a bargaining chip. You will hear things like, I will practice, (whatever), if you give me this or that. Or thay may threaten to not participate. in the activity. You will find yourself in more power struggles, angry discussions, and fights over their success than you can beleive.
Back off. When their success is more importantt to you than it is to them, it will increase your workload, and negatively effect your relationship with them.
Relax, and step back. Get busy and find something interesting for yourself. They will at first, try to reengage you with negative behavior. They may come around and use their tallents, however they may not. The question is, do you want to drag them (through life) to the gates of success, and they resist every step of the way. The last step that only they can make you stand and watch as they turn and walk away? It seems to me, that if young people are successful, they believe thay did it all by themselves, and if they fail you will get the blame.
You have one life. You can fill it with angry words over their talents, or you can fill it with joy and celebration. You can mourn that your child isn't an olympic gold medalist, or you can enjoy what they acheive.
It's your life too. You only get one life. ENJOY it.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
It's Back To School
Hello everybody,
Phew, we have gotten one group of young people graduated from high school, and another group is starting high school. In the next four years anything can happen. Some teens will complete high school with no problems at all, and some teens will struggle with the transition from child to young adult. It feels like a toss of a coin on how well our teens do, and in a lot of ways it is.
From day to day our teens are rubbing shoulders with all types of teens, and adults in this race. Many teens will become lost on the path, and may not finish the race. They may decide to follow the drums they hear within their heads, rather than the sobering voices and counsel of loving parents and adults around them. Some teens will follow the path closely until the last leg of the race, and make a u-turn, or change directions altogether, and still there will be others who complete the course, only to listen to that voice a few years down the road.
We are in a very vulnerable position. We can only watch the process of maturity. We offer guidance, and widom. We give consequences to discourage poor decisions, but we have no guarantee that the steps we take will ensure success. Although it feels like all odds go against our success in helping our teens through this tumuultous age in their lives, we can't give up.
There are thousands of decisons that our teens will make. Hopefully, our teens will make those decisions with our input. Hopefully, we won't have to revert to consequences too often to get the teen to do what is in their best interest to do. We can only provide guidance the best way that we know how.
This time will pass by fast. So enjoy this time period with your teen, and remember prayer, and laughter, can make a bumpy ride much smoother.
Enjoy the school year.
Phew, we have gotten one group of young people graduated from high school, and another group is starting high school. In the next four years anything can happen. Some teens will complete high school with no problems at all, and some teens will struggle with the transition from child to young adult. It feels like a toss of a coin on how well our teens do, and in a lot of ways it is.
From day to day our teens are rubbing shoulders with all types of teens, and adults in this race. Many teens will become lost on the path, and may not finish the race. They may decide to follow the drums they hear within their heads, rather than the sobering voices and counsel of loving parents and adults around them. Some teens will follow the path closely until the last leg of the race, and make a u-turn, or change directions altogether, and still there will be others who complete the course, only to listen to that voice a few years down the road.
We are in a very vulnerable position. We can only watch the process of maturity. We offer guidance, and widom. We give consequences to discourage poor decisions, but we have no guarantee that the steps we take will ensure success. Although it feels like all odds go against our success in helping our teens through this tumuultous age in their lives, we can't give up.
There are thousands of decisons that our teens will make. Hopefully, our teens will make those decisions with our input. Hopefully, we won't have to revert to consequences too often to get the teen to do what is in their best interest to do. We can only provide guidance the best way that we know how.
This time will pass by fast. So enjoy this time period with your teen, and remember prayer, and laughter, can make a bumpy ride much smoother.
Enjoy the school year.
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